


Persona 3: The Grand Delusion of Arisato Minato

by LykkeTil



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Co-written with fiancee, Crazy People are Crazy, Everyone's a charicature, How do I still have friends?, I must have been high, Multi, Other, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:19:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LykkeTil/pseuds/LykkeTil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where adults do nothing while angsty teenagers are expected to fight off everyone else's depression, one blue-haired main character will rise above to... get the fuck out of Iwatodai. </p><p>Sword Metaphors! Crazy People! Underage and Unpaid Psychologists! Exhibitionist Jesus! Fat Jokes! That One Lady Reporter! All this and more in the Grand Delusion of Minato. BUY NOW!11!10011</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. THERE'S NO ESCAPE, MINATO

**Author's Note:**

> I made my girlfriend read/hear every revision. It was fun. *evil cackle*

* * *

 

Minato breathed out a sigh of relief as the door that separated his room from the dorm clicked shut.

 

_‘Home, again.’_

 

He had spent his afternoon in the Student Council Room (with no small encouragement from Mitsuru-senpai) listening to another bombastic speech from Hidetoshi. It’s not that he didn’t like being involved in Gekkoukan High, it was just that. . . . ..

Hidetoshi considered him a **friend**.

After explaining to Hidetoshi that “yes, Japanese society generally dislikes smoking” and “no, Hidetoshi, I don’t think being in Student Council will grant you access secret government data on MK-Ultra,” that Minato was politely able to extract himself from his worked-up classmate.

Silently cursing himself for being such a pushover, the scrawny youth let out another sigh. Times like these made Minato doubt he’d ever find a _normal_ friend.

 

This was his hometown, damn it! He was supposed to settle down somewhere, attend a normal school, visit his parent’s graves once in a while. . . heck, maybe even find a normal girlfriend (boyfriend? Minato wasn’t too sure how he felt about Bebe’s flamboyant eagerness around him. And there was that one time with Kazushi in the locker rooms. He’d never be able to hear the word “sword” without blushing a cherry-red ever again).

 

As if to wrench another sigh from him, his cellphone’s familiar “pi-pi-pi-pi” called out. Automatically, he reached towards it and -

 

* * *

 

 

 “Hey Minato-kun!” The crunch of potato chips slurred the syllables from Nozomi’s mouth, spit and chips a torrential downfall on everyone who was unfortunate enough to be looked at by the greasy teen that afternoon in Paulownia Mall.

 

 

“I’ll call you later so we can get together over the week-end! There’s so much Nyxism material I want you to read with me!” The bulbous teen swallowed, clearing his throat as he hacked past the food he somehow managed to choke down. Minato watched with passive horror as the news-reporter he had seen occasionally decided to pass by Nozomi at that moment, only to be caught up in a wet burp that sprayed liquid particulates and any remaining food bits on her suit. She hit the floor in a second from the noxious fumes that slowly diffused into the atmosphere, leaving a dense, sticky fog where she had been.

 

“And ramen! That’s the place for you, my friend!!”

 

 

All the blue-hired teen could do was hang his head in embarrassment as the standby Emergency Medical Team carted the chip-encrusted t.v. reporter into the waiting ambulance....

 

* * *

 

 

_’Shit - And of course the welfare agency gave me a phone WITHOUT caller-id!’_

 

It was a given Kirijo-senpai had the latest and greatest (“early-release”) 2001 Blackberry, but even Junpei called him out on his outdated flip-phone. Yukari ended up defending him -

 

\- at the price of admitting they were both wards of the state. 

 

Minato cringed internally. _’That was a fun conversation.’_

 

 

His phone buzzed, signaling a new voice mail from whomever called. The bluette blinked a few times, focusing back on his phone.

 

_‘Right! Since it’s on voicemail now, I’ll be able to hear whomever called me and pretend I never got it!’_

 

Honestly, he wanted to chuck his phone into the sea. How did so many people get his number?! He never made an effort to ask for numbers or remember anyone else’s, so it was creepy how many people made an effort to

1) get his number

2) write it down and

3) call him.

He had a fearful suspicion the chairman might have been behind that trend... Flipping open the phone, Minato went into his phone’s inbox to play the message -

 

Bump-bump-bump

 

 His head turned to the door. “Are you awake, Minato?”

 

 

_‘No rest for the weary, huh?’_

 

Sighing, he got up to open the door for Yukari. “Hey,” she smiled. “Fuuka’s worried about us being under-prepared for this month’s Shadow. You’ll be ready for the Dark Hour tonight, won’t you?” She flashed her smile again and turned, leaving Minato's mouth gaping where Yukari's form had been.

 

_’Welp, I guess I should attend the Dark Hour tonight.’_

 

And a little bit of despair formed in the teenaged hero’s heart at that moment.

 

He wanted to ** _go to bed,_** dammit...


	2. Just Another Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tired... one of those days. Rat race, getting one of a thousand projects worked on. The usually, y'know? Trying to work on situational comedy.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“…But you must promise me you’ll take responsibility for your actions this year-“

Minato could feel his impending doom at those words like a spotlight, singling him out in a domineering light as it obscured all onlookers from his own sight…

‘my own actions…’

Those he could sense were transmogrified to the touch, unfeeling, sealed away comfortably in their own worlds. His fingertips smoothed over the callous wood…

‘Why…. just me…?’

“Buzz-buzz-buzz-bu-!“

Minato’s ears swam in the sound of his alarm clock, as if the river Styx beckoned him back to life. 

‘’This year’, huh…?’

“Master. You have: 1 hour and 30 minutes, before school.”

“Aigis,” the words leeched out of the pillow he tried dampening the light with. 

“Did you sleep well, Master? I sang you lullabies all last night, as this book told me to.” The sleepy teen’s eyes focused enough to see Aigis holding a book titled For The Expectant Mother.

“YUKARIIIII. . .” 

“Eh? Is Aigis with you again, Minato?” Yukari called out from her room above him.

“Yes.” 

A few grumbles followed by footsteps grunted down the stairs, and Minato was surprised to see that Yukari looked as if she hadn’t slept well, either. 

“C’mon, Aigis. Maybe I should lock you up with Koromaru next time, to make sure he doesn’t mess up everything...”

“I don’t understand, Yukari-san. I didn’t ‘bother him,’ as you requested.”

“Nevermind, Aigis...” she sighed. “We’ll talk later. At least now I can get some help with my room.”

“What is the matter, Yukari-chan?”

“Koromaru -“ she backtracked, angry. “That Mangy Mutt - He -!” She blushed, “my tampons-“ Even obscured by her hair, traces of the blossoming red could be seen. “Nevermind!” She pumped her hands, stomping away with Aigis calmly in tow.

——  
The train whirred smoothly over the tracks, the occasional clicking of each segment to the tempo of a heart. Minato’s mind, no matter how well he controlled his expression, bent his form in some protest.

“Whatup, Bro? Why do’ya look so down?” Junpei’s goatee grated his head. 

“One year. He told me I am responsible, but for ‘this year’.”

“The psycho-self-you, in your head? Man, did you forget to take your anti-psychotics again? Mitsuru will shove them down your throat.”

“Huh? What are you two talking about over there?” The redhead turned upon hearing her name. 

“Nothing! Nothing.”

“True-Blue over here’s off his Chlorpromazine.”

“Oh, hell no! Last time you abandoned everyone in Tartarus because you kept thinking a giant clown-bear was going to eat you, and you think THAT was okay?!”

“I swear I wasn’t hallucinating! His name was Teddy!!”

“That’s it!” A finely-nailed hand pulled out a hypodermic needle out of her bag, running after the poor protagonist as collective gasps and shrieks filled the car from fellow riders. 

“Somebody, stop that girl!”  
“Taking advantage of mentally disabled people, huh?! Well, let’s see what CNN has to say about this!”  
“Call the police! FOR GOD’S SAKE, I’M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!”  
“Fuck! Somebody’s got a knife!”

In all the commotion, the emergency brake was pulled as some of the passengers lurched forward, effectively pinning the unseated Mitsuru and causing her to lose the hermetically-sealed needle. Arisato wasn’t much better, getting caught between two overweight bodies in somebody’s crotch and another person’s breasts (‘moobs?’). 

——————————————————————————————————————————————

And on that day, everyone spent an hour waiting for the police to arrive and reach the suspended cablecar, on top of the time spent in the police department and explaining this to Gekkoukan’s attendance office.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Lunch Break  
————————————---------------------------------------------------------------

“Heeeeey~” 

Arisato mentally balked in his dream, not allowing himself to say anything out of politeness and embarrassment his awake classmates might hear.

“Heeey. . . No fair, you know I don’t like the silent treatment, ” the shota-bait pouted. “I was just popping in to see how you were doing with the whole ‘one year’ thing. See if you’ve reached the denial stage yet.”

‘Thank whatever you believe in you’re Casper over there, or I’d strangle the life out of you. Everyone believes I’m nuts — I got chased by a psycho — and I got sexually harassed by two strangers! And for what, ‘hello, you’re going to die’? You’re no Inego Montoya, this isn’t ‘The Ring’ and I didn’t watch no ghetto-ass video-tape.’

“But - but - it’s deep, Minato-san! Like how nobody chooses to be born!”

“No! You’re some weird free-loading shota that happened to hitch a ride with me! The least you could do is take care of all the emotional baggage people fling at me!”

“Noooooo, Minatooooo,” Pharos put on his best baby-faced pout. “That’s not funnnn~”

“Fuck you. You and your shota-ass owe me this month’s rent! And all the previous years’ rent! Now get out there and whore yourself for power, slut!”

“Arisato Minato, I will not tolerate that language from any of my students!”

Said eyes flung open to the confusion and shock of everyone around him. 

“Sorry, Sensei. Minato-san said it was my turn to ‘ride the dick of friendship.’”

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how to formulate the next chapter. Either way, Mr. Fedora and the Jesus-reject will make an appearance to stop our noble hero and .... Minato will keep trying to escape the hell known as Iwatodai.


End file.
